Looking to brighten your day with a twist of humor? Funny Bad Advice Jokes are the perfect way to turn mundane moments into laugh-out-loud ones.
These jokes take the concept of advice and flip it on its head, delivering hilariously terrible suggestions you definitely shouldn’t follow!
From ridiculous career tips to absurd life hacks, this collection will leave you chuckling and wondering, “Who even thinks of this stuff?” Get ready for a fun ride!
The Benefits of Choosing Funny Bad Advice Jokes
- Instant relatability – Everyone has received terrible advice at some point
- Perfect icebreakers – These jokes quickly connect people through shared experiences
- Stress relief – Transform frustrating moments into comedic opportunities
- Universal appeal – Work across different age groups and social settings
Funny & Creative Bad Advice Jokes
- “Always trust a stranger’s investment advice—especially if they’re wearing a tracksuit.”
- “The best time to quit your job is right after buying a house.”
- “Never read the instructions—real men figure it out through trial and explosion.”
- “Always eat questionable leftovers—food poisoning builds character.”
- “The louder you honk in traffic, the faster it moves.”
- “Never back up your computer files—living dangerously keeps life exciting.”
- “Always argue with airport security—they love a good debate.”
- “The best way to lose weight is to eat more cake—reverse psychology works.”
- “Never wear sunscreen—pale is the new tan.”
- “Always text your ex at 3 AM—nostalgia hits harder after midnight.”
- “The best financial advice is to spend money you don’t have.”
- “Never listen to weather forecasts—surprises make life more interesting.”
- “Always give parenting advice to parents—especially if you don’t have kids.”
- “The key to public speaking is imagining everyone naked and telling them about it.”
- “Never learn a second language—confusion is good for the brain.”
- “Always trust gas station sushi—it’s basically the same thing.”
- “The best way to make friends is to criticize their life choices immediately.”
- “Never exercise—evolution will eventually make us all naturally fit.”
- “Always take medical advice from social media comments.”
- “The secret to happiness is comparing yourself to others constantly.”
- “Never apologize—it shows weakness, even when you’re obviously wrong.”
- “Always wear white to other people’s weddings—you’ll stand out beautifully.”
- “The best time to start a diet is tomorrow, every single day.”
- “Never save money for emergencies—optimism is the best insurance.”
- “Always give relationship advice based on romantic comedies.”
- “The key to success is procrastinating until the last possible moment.”
- “Never read contracts before signing—lawyers need the business anyway.”
- “Always trust your first instinct, even when it’s obviously terrible.”
- “The best way to handle criticism is to take it personally and hold grudges.”
- “Never admit you’re lost—driving in circles builds character.”
- “Always give cooking advice after burning water.”
- “The secret to longevity is ignoring all health warnings.”
- “Never change passwords—consistency is more important than security.”
- “Always offer unsolicited advice to strangers—they’re probably desperate for guidance.”
- “The best way to handle stress is to add more stressful situations.”
- “Never tip service workers—they should be grateful for any job.”
- “Always bring up politics at family dinners—controversy spices up relationships.”
- “The key to productivity is multitasking seventeen different things poorly.”
- “Never admit mistakes—blame external factors creatively instead.”
- “Always give pet training advice based on what you’ve seen in cartoons.”
Read Also:
Meteorologist Jokes
Unique Bad Advice Jokes One Liners
- “Never trust anyone who gives good advice—they’re clearly hiding something.”
- “The best career move is burning bridges while standing on them.”
- “Always double-down on bad decisions—commitment is attractive.”
- “Never learn from others’ mistakes—make your own, they’re more personal.”
- “The secret to networking is insulting everyone’s business cards.”
- “Always wear flip-flops to job interviews—comfort shows confidence.”
- “Never plan ahead—spontaneity is just organized chaos with better marketing.”
- “The best way to handle money is treating it like it’s radioactive.”
- “Always give driving lessons while actively crashing.”
- “Never trust anyone who arrives on time—punctuality is suspicious.”
- “The key to romance is discussing your ex on the first date.”
- “Always solve problems by creating bigger, more complex problems.”
- “Never eat vegetables—if they were meant to be eaten, they’d taste like pizza.”
- “The best investment strategy is following cryptocurrency tips from teenagers.”
- “Always trust your gut, especially when it’s full of questionable decisions.”
- “Never use GPS—getting lost is just an unplanned adventure.”
- “The secret to happiness is lowering expectations until they’re underground.”
- “Always give fashion advice while wearing pajamas in public.”
- “Never read instruction manuals—intuition is nature’s troubleshooting guide.”
- “The best way to make decisions is by flipping a coin and ignoring the result.”
- “Always trust weather forecasts from fortune cookies.”
- “Never backup important data—living dangerously keeps the adrenaline flowing.”
- “The key to success is showing up late with a creative excuse.”
- “Always give medical advice based on WebMD searches and anxiety.”
- “Never learn new skills—ignorance is bliss with better job security.”
- “The best time to start important projects is during a personal crisis.”
- “Always trust investment advice from people wearing lucky rabbit feet.”
- “Never admit when you don’t understand something—nod confidently instead.”
- “The secret to productivity is procrastinating with style and panache.”
- “Always give parenting advice based on pet ownership experience.”
- “Never save for retirement—future you can handle their own problems.”
- “The best way to handle conflicts is by pretending they don’t exist.”
- “Always trust restaurant recommendations from people with terrible taste.”
- “Never exercise—Darwin will eventually eliminate the need for physical fitness.”
- “The key to relationships is keeping score and announcing the results loudly.”
- “Always give technology advice from the perspective of someone who fears change.”
- “Never admit mistakes—they’re just alternative success stories waiting to happen.”
- “The best financial planning involves ignoring math and relying on wishful thinking.”
- “Always trust home improvement advice from people who’ve never owned tools.”
- “Never take advice from people who give good advice—it’s probably a trap.”
Dirty Bad Advice Jokes
- “Always discuss your bedroom performance like a sports commentator.”
- “The best pickup line is asking someone to rate your dating profile.”
- “Never shower before important romantic encounters—natural musk is irresistible.”
- “Always bring your mother on first dates for expert commentary.”
- “The secret to attraction is oversharing personal hygiene details immediately.”
- “Never wear protection—living dangerously is the ultimate aphrodisiac.”
- “Always text nude photos to the wrong contact for maximum embarrassment.”
- “The best foreplay is discussing your financial problems in detail.”
- “Never trim personal grooming—wilderness aesthetic is totally in style.”
- “Always rate your partner’s performance with Olympic-style scorecards.”
- “The key to romance is bringing up your ex’s superior techniques.”
- “Never clean your bedroom—clutter adds character to intimate moments.”
- “Always wear socks during intimate encounters—toe warmth is essential.”
- “The best relationship advice comes from people who’ve never been in one.”
- “Never turn off the lights—full visibility prevents any pleasant surprises.”
- “Always livestream romantic moments for posterity and public feedback.”
- “The secret to passion is scheduling it like a business meeting.”
- “Never communicate desires clearly—mind reading is more romantic anyway.”
- “Always bring snacks to bed—intermittent munching enhances the experience.”
- “The best time for romance is immediately after eating garlic bread.”
- “Never remove your shoes—foot fashion statements transcend intimate settings.”
- “Always pause mid-encounter to check social media notifications.”
- “The key to satisfaction is comparing everything to unrealistic expectations.”
- “Never invest in quality undergarments—comfort is overrated for special occasions.”
- “Always discuss your day’s mundane details during intimate moments.”
- “The best mood lighting is the harsh fluorescent bathroom fixture.”
- “Never learn your partner’s preferences—surprise tactics work better anyway.”
- “Always answer phone calls during romantic encounters—multitasking shows efficiency.”
- “The secret to chemistry is over-analyzing every single interaction afterward.”
- “Never invest in comfortable bedding—sleeping on concrete builds character.”
- “Always bring pets into the bedroom for moral support.”
- “The best romantic gesture is mansplaining attraction techniques to your partner.”
- “Never create romantic atmosphere—spontaneous awkwardness is more authentic.”
- “Always wear complicated clothing that requires engineering degrees to remove.”
- “The key to intimacy is treating it like a competitive sport.”
- “Never turn off electronic devices—notification sounds add rhythm.”
- “Always critique your partner’s technique in real-time with detailed feedback.”
- “The best romantic music is death metal played at maximum volume.”
- “Never invest in privacy—neighbors love free entertainment options.”
- “Always bring work stress directly into intimate situations for authenticity.”
Bad Advice Jokes Collect from Reddit
- “LPT: Always trust financial advice from people declaring bankruptcy.”
- “The real life hack is ignoring all life hacks completely.”
- “Pro tip: Never Google your symptoms—ignorance prevents hypochondria and medical bills.”
- “Always take parenting advice from people whose kids are currently in therapy.”
- “The best way to handle trolls is by feeding them regularly.”
- “Never fact-check information that confirms your existing beliefs—research ruins certainty.”
- “Always trust restaurant reviews written by people who think ketchup is spicy.”
- “The secret to Reddit karma is posting unpopular opinions in echo chambers.”
- “Never read terms and conditions—lawyers need mystery in their lives.”
- “Always give travel advice about places you’ve never actually visited.”
- “The best investment strategy is following advice from r/wallstreetbets blindly.”
- “Never use throwaway accounts—anonymity is for cowards anyway.”
- “Always trust relationship advice from people who’ve never left their basement.”
- “The key to productivity is subscribing to seventeen different productivity subreddits.”
- “Never verify sources—Wikipedia editing is a collaborative trust exercise.”
- “Always give cooking advice while ordering takeout for the fifth consecutive night.”
- “The secret to social media success is arguing with strangers about trivial matters.”
- “Never learn from downvoted comments—they’re just misunderstood genius.”
- “Always trust medical advice from people who diagnose everything as cancer.”
- “The best way to handle criticism is by checking the critic’s post history.”
- “Never admit when you’re wrong in internet arguments—digital stubbornness builds character.”
- “Always give technology advice using information from 2003.”
- “The key to happiness is reading political discussions in comment sections.”
- “Never use the serious tag—comedy emerges from inappropriate timing.”
- “Always trust fitness advice from people who consider walking to the fridge cardio.”
- “The secret to viral content is posting original ideas on platforms that reward reposts.”
- “Never question upvoted advice—popularity equals accuracy in democratic wisdom.”
- “Always give career advice based on your experience playing simulation games.”
- “The best way to learn skills is by asking questions that Google could answer.”
- “Never create original content—reposting builds community through shared experiences.”
- “Always trust fashion advice from people who wear fedoras unironically.”
- “The key to meaningful discussion is bringing up Godwin’s Law within three comments.”
- “Never read entire articles before commenting—headlines contain all necessary information.”
- “Always give relationship advice based on romantic comedies and dating sims.”
- “The secret to credibility is starting every statement with ‘I’m not an expert, but…'”
- “Never check if subreddits are satirical before taking advice seriously.”
- “Always trust life advice from people whose biggest achievement is Reddit gold.”
- “The best way to handle disagreement is by downvoting without explaining why.”
- “Never consider that correlation might not equal causation—patterns are always meaningful.”
- “Always give advice that you wouldn’t follow yourself—hypocrisy builds character.”
Best Bad Advice Jokes
- “Never trust anyone who gives advice for free—clearly they’re not good enough to charge.”
- “The best time to make important decisions is during emotional breakdowns.”
- “Always follow your dreams, especially the ones involving flying and purple elephants.”
- “Never learn from successful people—they’re probably hiding their real secrets.”
- “The key to happiness is expecting life to be like social media highlight reels.”
- “Always trust gut instincts, even when your gut is full of bad decisions.”
- “Never save money—inflation will eventually make it worthless anyway.”
- “The best career advice is following your passion straight into bankruptcy.”
- “Always give advice you’ve never tested yourself—theoretical wisdom is purer.”
- “Never admit you don’t know something—confident ignorance beats humble knowledge.”
- “The secret to success is comparing yourself to people more successful than you.”
- “Always trust first impressions, especially when they’re based on stereotypes.”
- “Never change your mind once you’ve made a decision—consistency trumps accuracy.”
- “The best way to handle problems is by hoping they’ll solve themselves.”
- “Always give relationship advice based on movies and television shows.”
- “Never invest in yourself—other people should recognize your worth automatically.”
- “The key to productivity is multitasking until nothing gets done properly.”
- “Always trust advice from people who’ve failed at what they’re advising.”
- “Never question advice that sounds profound but makes no practical sense.”
- “The secret to longevity is ignoring all medical advice and statistics.”
- “Always make major life changes based on fortune cookie messages.”
- “Never plan for worst-case scenarios—positive thinking prevents negative outcomes.”
- “The best financial strategy is spending money to save money continuously.”
- “Always give parenting advice based on how you remember being a perfect child.”
- “Never admit when you’re out of your depth—fake expertise until it’s real.”
- “The key to relationships is never compromising on anything ever.”
- “Always trust advice that begins with ‘You should just…'”
- “Never consider that your problems might require professional help.”
- “The secret to happiness is buying things you can’t afford but definitely need.”
- “Always give career advice based on what you wanted to be when you grew up.”
- “Never learn new skills—natural talent should be enough for everything.”
- “The best way to handle stress is by adding more stressful commitments.”
- “Always trust advice from people who claim to have figured out life completely.”
- “Never question advice that contradicts scientific evidence—intuition beats research.”
- “The key to success is working harder, not smarter, until you burn out.”
- “Always give health advice based on anecdotal evidence and personal theories.”
- “Never admit that some situations don’t have easy solutions or quick fixes.”
- “The secret to wisdom is having opinions about everything, regardless of knowledge.”
- “Always trust advice that promises instant results with minimal effort.”
- “Never consider that good advice might be uncomfortable to hear and implement.”
Clever & Crazy Bad Advice Jokes
- “Always solve hunger by eating your problems—they’re surprisingly nutritious.”
- “Never use elevators—stairs build character and prevent convenient escapes.”
- “The best way to handle insomnia is by counting sheep that are having existential crises.”
- “Always trust directions from people who get lost in their own neighborhood.”
- “Never wear matching socks—asymmetry keeps life interesting and feet confused.”
- “The secret to time management is scheduling appointments in different time zones randomly.”
- “Always give swimming lessons while actively drowning in shallow water.”
- “Never trust mirrors—they’re clearly biased toward reflecting accurate information.”
- “The best diet advice is eating everything in alphabetical order exclusively.”
- “Always solve math problems by asking the numbers to be more cooperative.”
- “Never use bookmarks—forgetting where you stopped reading builds suspense.”
- “The key to organization is creating chaos in alphabetical order systematically.”
- “Always trust weather forecasts made by consulting your arthritic joints exclusively.”
- “Never learn to drive—evolution will eventually provide natural transportation methods.”
- “The secret to public speaking is imagining the audience as friendly aliens.”
- “Always give cooking advice while setting smoke alarms off consistently.”
- “Never use conventional medicine—crystals and positive thoughts cure everything.”
- “The best way to handle technology is by talking to it sternly.”
- “Always trust investment advice from people who collect Beanie Babies seriously.”
- “Never read expiration dates—food doesn’t expire, it just becomes more adventurous.”
- “The key to happiness is collecting regrets like rare vintage stamps.”
- “Always solve disputes by consulting Magic 8-Balls and fortune cookies.”
- “Never use GPS—getting lost is just taking the scenic route accidentally.”
- “The secret to fitness is considering thinking about exercise as cardio.”
- “Always give dental advice while eating cotton candy for breakfast.”
- “Never trust clocks—time is a social construct designed to stress people.”
- “The best way to handle emergencies is by panicking in an organized fashion.”
- “Always solve relationship problems by communicating exclusively through interpretive dance.”
- “Never use conventional tools—everything can be fixed with duct tape creatively.”
- “The key to success is procrastinating until panic provides supernatural productivity.”
- “Always trust fashion advice from people who wear socks with sandals proudly.”
- “Never admit you need help—struggling alone builds character and ulcers.”
- “The secret to gardening is talking to plants about your personal problems.”
- “Always give parenting advice based on your experience raising houseplants successfully.”
- “Never use traditional teaching methods—confusion accelerates learning through frustration.”
- “The best way to handle criticism is by considering the source’s astrological sign.”
- “Always solve financial problems by manifesting money through positive visualization techniques.”
- “Never trust people who give practical advice—they lack imagination and spontaneity.”
- “The key to productivity is working exclusively during Mercury retrograde periods.”
- “Always give life advice based on lessons learned from reality television shows.”
