199+ Funny & Creative Jokes About Rejection

Rejection is a universal experience, but that doesn’t mean we can’t laugh about it. Finding humor in tough moments can make them easier to handle. 

This collection of Jokes About Rejection offers a lighthearted way to look at getting turned down. 

Get ready to turn those painful memories into punchlines and share a laugh, because sometimes, a good joke is the best way to bounce back from a “no.”

The Benefits of Choosing Funny Jokes About Rejection

• Lightens the Mood: Humor helps turn rejection into a less painful, more manageable experience.

• Builds Resilience: Laughing encourages mental strength and a fresh perspective.

• Connects People: Sharing jokes creates bonds and understanding between friends.

• Boosts Positivity: Turning rejection into laughter fosters a brighter outlook, inspiring perseverance.

Funny & Creative Jokes About Rejection

1. My love life is like a broken pencil… pointless.
2. I asked my crush out. She said, “I’d love to, but I’m washing my hair that decade.”
3. Rejection is my cardio. I run from commitment and people run from me.
4. I got a rejection letter from a job I didn’t even apply for. They said my resume was “preemptively disappointing.”
5. My guardian angel just texted me: “I quit.”
6. I told my cat I loved her. She immediately started grooming herself.
7. Pitched a tent in her DMs. She told me to pack it up due to a lack of interest.
8. My love life is like traffic in Los Angeles. Non-existent and frustrating.
9. I’m not saying I get rejected a lot, but my Netflix profile just suggested “A Series of Unfortunate Events.”
10. Asked for her number. She gave me the non-emergency police line.
11. I sent a “thinking of you” text. They replied, “New phone, who dis?” We’ve been dating for a year.
12. My ex’s name is “Error 404: Girlfriend Not Found.”
13. I’m starting a support group for people who get rejected. So far, no one has shown up.
14. My application to the Pessimists’ Club was rejected. They said I was too optimistic.
15. I waved at someone, but they were waving at the person behind me. I just kept my hand up and a taxi pulled over.
16. My dating profile says, “Please lower your expectations.”
17. I’m not single. I’m in a long-distance relationship with my future self.
18. I tried to donate blood, but they said my type was “not wanted.”
19. My Wi-Fi password is “rejection.” It keeps telling me the connection is weak.
20. I asked a girl if she was free on Saturday. She said, “Yes, free from you.”
21. I told my crush I’d catch a grenade for her. She asked if I could do it right now.
22. My life’s theme song is the dial-up modem sound. A lot of effort for no connection.
23. I’m so single, my dog wears the other half of my “best friends” necklace.
24. She said she needed space. So I bought her a telescope.
25. My love life has been downgraded from “it’s complicated” to “it’s a statistical anomaly.”
26. Tried to join the circus as a clown. They said I wasn’t funny, just sad.
27. I asked the magic 8-ball if I’d find love. It shattered.
28. My ex said I was one in a million. I guess that means there are 8,000 people just like me.
29. I have a PhD in getting left on read.
30. I told my therapist I get rejected a lot. He said our time was up.
31. My romantic history is less of a story and more of a pamphlet.
32. I asked her what she was doing for the rest of her life. She said, “Not you.”
33. My plants keep dying. I think they’re rejecting my care.
34. I’m not saying I’m bad at dating, but my ex’s new partner is a houseplant.
35. The only dates I get are on my calendar.
36. I asked for a sign from the universe. A “No Trespassing” sign fell on my head.
37. My Siri keeps calling me by my ex’s name.
38. My love language is being ignored.
39. My imaginary friend broke up with me.
40. Even my spam emails start with “Dear friend,” and not “Dear lover.”

Read Also:

Toilet Brush Jokes

Unique Jokes About Rejection One-Liners

1. I’m not saying I’m lonely, but I bought a “his and hers” towel set for me and my shadow.
2. She ghosted me so hard, I think I need an exorcist.
3. My dating life is like a software update: it always fails at 99%.
4. I have more issues than Vogue, and none of them are features.
5. I was born at a very young age, and it’s been downhill from there.
6. My GPS told me to make a U-turn on our first date.
7. I’m emotionally constipated, and my love life is the laxative that doesn’t work.
8. I’m the human equivalent of a participation trophy.
9. My crush finally looked at me; it was a restraining order.
10. I’m not a snack; I’m a full-course meal that people send back to the kitchen.
11. My romantic life is like a solar eclipse—rare, dark, and people are warned not to look directly at it.
12. I’m currently accepting applications for someone to reject me next.
13. I’m not single, I’m algorithmically challenged.
14. My ex’s new partner looks just like me, but with a better credit score.
15. I thought I had a connection, but it was just the free Wi-Fi.
16. My love life is like my student loans—it just keeps getting more and more interest from no one.
17. I’m so single, I get jealous of the moon because it gets to be with the stars.
18. I’m not desperate, but I did just wink at my reflection.
19. My dating app matches are just a collection of my future exes.
20. I asked my reflection who the fairest of them all was, and it swiped left.
21. My love story is a short one: “Once upon a time, The End.”
22. I’m not a player; I’m the tutorial level that everyone skips.
23. I’m so unpopular, even my telemarketers hang up on me.
24. My love life is like a haunted house; people are too scared to enter.
25. I’m writing a book about my love life. It’s a pamphlet.
26. My personality is a “404 Not Found” error.
27. I’m not saying my standards are low, but I’d date someone who breathes.
28. My dating pool has a “No Lifeguard on Duty” sign.
29. I’m not emotionally unavailable; I’m just on backorder.
30. My heart has more walls than the Great Wall of China.
31. I’m not single; I’m in a long-term relationship with adventure and freedom.
32. My ex’s diary is probably titled “My Life and Other Mistakes.”
33. I’m not saying I’m unlucky in love, but Cupid filed a restraining order against me.
34. My love life is like a good joke: I don’t have one.
35. I’m not picky; I’m just allergic to disappointment.
36. My romantic prospects are as dry as my humor.
37. I’m not lonely; I’m just on a solo mission.
38. My dating history is more of a rap sheet.
39. I’m so single, my plants are starting to look attractive.
40. I’m not desperate, but I did just ask my Alexa on a date.

Dirty Jokes About Rejection

1. I asked if they wanted to get dinner. They said they were busy, but their bed wasn’t. Then they clarified it was busy holding their laundry.
2. I told them I was a master of the tongue. They asked if I could help them seal some envelopes.
3. She said she was into bad boys. I told her I sometimes don’t recycle. She blocked me.
4. I asked if they wanted to see my “hard” drive. They asked if it had enough storage for their “no” folder.
5. My pickup line is, “Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.” They replied, “Yes, and for my next trick, I’ll make you disappear.”
6. I said, “I’m great in bed. I can sleep for 12 hours straight.” They said, “I need someone with more stamina.”
7. I told them I had a “big package” for them. It was a large Amazon delivery they’d been waiting for. They were more excited about the box.
8. My love life is like a porn plot: unrealistic and full of disappointment.
9. I asked if they wanted to “Netflix and chill.” They asked if we could just do the Netflix part, from separate houses.
10. I told them, “My bed is broken, can I sleep in yours?” They said, “No, but you can have the floor.”
11. I whispered, “You turn me on.” They replied, “I do the same to my lamp.”
12. I said, “Let’s make a movie.” They said, “Great, you can be the extra who gets cut.”
13. I tried to be seductive and said, “I have a secret you’ll want to uncover.” They guessed it was my debt.
14. I asked if they were a beaver, because dam. They said they were a bear, and it was hibernation season.
15. I said my safe word was “harder.” They started giving me harder math problems.
16. I told them I was a “freak in the sheets.” They said they preferred someone who was a “saint in the streets and a decent human being.”
17. I asked, “What’s your sign?” They replied, “A stop sign.”
18. I said, “I can show you a good time.” They said, “Thanks, but I have a watch.”
19. My pickup line is, “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?” They said, “Please don’t.”
20. I told them I was an “animal in bed.” They asked if I was a sloth.
21. I said, “I’m good with my hands.” They handed me a jar to open.
22. I asked if they wanted to get “down and dirty.” They said they were more of an “up and clean” person.
23. I told them, “I’m like a Rubik’s Cube; the more you play with me, the harder I get.” They said they’d rather solve a crossword.
24. I said, “You must be a parking ticket, because you’ve got ‘fine’ written all over you.” They said, “And you must be a boot, because you’re getting nowhere near me.”
25. I tried to be smooth and said, “Is it hot in here, or is it just you?” They said, “It’s you, you’re making me uncomfortable.”
26. I told them I was a “love machine.” They asked if I came with an off switch.
27. I said, “I’ve got all the right moves.” They said, “So does a chess piece, and I’m not interested in playing games.”
28. I asked, “Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see.” They said, “I’m from Alaska, and I’m used to the cold.”
29. I told them, “I’m a connoisseur of fine things.” They said, “Then you must be disappointed.”
30. I said, “Let’s skip the small talk and get to the main event.” They said the event was cancelled.
31. I tried to be charming and said, “I’m lost in your eyes.” They said, “I’ll call you a map.”
32. I told them, “I’m like a fine wine; I get better with age.” They said they preferred beer.
33. I said, “I’m a man of many talents.” They asked if one of them was leaving.
34. I asked, “Do you have a map? Because I just got lost in your eyes.” They said, “No, but I have a restraining order.”
35. I told them, “I’m a romantic at heart.” They said their heart was a “no-romance zone.”
36. I said, “I’m looking for a treasure.” They said, “Keep looking.”
37. I tried to be poetic and said, “You’re a work of art.” They said they were in a museum that was closing.
38. I told them, “I’m a firestarter.” They handed me a fire extinguisher.
39. I said, “I’m a dream come true.” They said they were having a nightmare.
40. I asked, “What’s a nice person like you doing in a place like this?” They said, “Avoiding people like you.”

Funny Rejection Lines For Guys

1. Sorry, I’m allergic to your cologne and your personality.
2. I’d love to, but I’m scheduled to have my toenails surgically removed that day.
3. My therapist says I should avoid guys who remind me of my dad. You don’t look like him, but you have the same aura of disappointment.
4. I’m not saying no, I’m saying “not in this lifetime.”
5. You’re like a brother to me. A brother I want to get away from.
6. I’m really focusing on my career right now. My career of avoiding you.
7. I’m sorry, I’m already in a relationship with myself. And it’s complicated.
8. I have a very strict “no-you” policy.
9. You’re a great guy, but I’m looking for a great woman.
10. I’m actually a hologram. This isn’t real.
11. I’m sorry, my schedule is booked. For the rest of my life.
12. I’d rather stay home and watch paint dry. It’s more exciting.
13. I’m not looking for a relationship right now. Or ever, with you.
14. You’re a nice guy, but I’m looking for a bad boy. And you’re just bad.
15. I’m sorry, I don’t date people who are shorter than my heels.
16. I’m trying to cut back on carbs. And you.
17. I’m not interested, but my grandma is single.
18. I’m sorry, I only date people who can do a backflip.
19. I’m a vegan. I don’t date meatheads.
20. I’m sorry, I have a boyfriend. He’s in another country. And he’s imaginary.
21. I’m not your type. I’m not anyone’s type.
22. I’m sorry, I’m not into guys who still live with their parents.
23. I’m focusing on my spiritual journey right now.
24. I’m sorry, I’m not attracted to your star sign.
25. I’m trying to be more environmentally friendly, so I’m reducing my carbon footprint and my dating life.
26. I’m sorry, I don’t date people who wear socks with sandals.
27. I’m not ready for a relationship. I’m still trying to figure out how to fold a fitted sheet.
28. I’m sorry, I’m not interested in a guy who’s still on his parents’ phone plan.
29. I’m trying to be more mindful, and I’m mindful that I’m not interested.
30. I’m sorry, I’m not into guys who use that much hair gel.
31. I’m not looking for a partner, I’m looking for a sparring partner.
32. I’m sorry, I’m not attracted to your aura.
33. I’m trying to be more selective. And I’m selecting “not you.”
34. I’m sorry, I’m not into guys who still think “your” and “you’re” are the same thing.
35. I’m not interested, but I’m sure there’s someone out there for you. Probably.
36. I’m sorry, I’m not into guys who still have a flip phone.
37. I’m trying to live a more minimalist lifestyle, and that includes my love life.
38. I’m sorry, I’m not attracted to your font choice.
39. I’m not looking for a relationship, I’m looking for a unicorn.
40. I’m sorry, I’m not interested. But thanks for the laugh.

Jokes About Rejection Collected from Reddit

1. My love life is like a blind date with fate, and fate keeps standing me up.
2. I asked my crush if they believed in love at first sight. They said, “It depends on the sight.”
3. I’m not saying I’m bad at flirting, but I once told a girl she had a nice skeleton.
4. My dating app bio says, “Looking for someone to attend my family functions so they stop asking about my love life.”
5. I’m so single, I’m starting to think my soulmate is a pizza.
6. My ex said I was “too much.” Too much awesome, I assume.
   7 scrimblo. My romantic life is like a game of musical chairs, but I’m the one left standing.
7. I’m not saying I’m desperate, but I just swiped right on a picture of a sandwich.
8. My love life is like a horror movie: I’m the main character who makes all the wrong decisions.
9. I’m not a backup plan; I’m the “what was I thinking?” plan.
10. My dating history is like a crime scene: a lot of evidence and no suspects.
11. I’m not saying I’m unlucky in love, but I think Cupid is using me for target practice.
12. My love life is like a thrift store: full of used items and questionable choices.
13. I’m not desperate, but I did just ask my shadow out on a date.
14. My romantic life is like a Greek tragedy, but with more crying.
15. I’m not saying my standards are low, but I’d date someone who can spell my name right.
16. My love life is like a roller coaster: it has its ups and downs, and it makes me sick.
17. I’m not desperate, but I did just ask my reflection if it wanted to get a drink.
18. My dating history is like a mystery novel: I have no clue what’s going on.
19. I’m not saying I’m bad at relationships, but my plants have a longer lifespan.
20. My love life is like a comedy of errors, but without the comedy.
21. I’m not desperate, but I did just ask my dog if it was single.
22. My dating history is like a science experiment: a lot of trial and error.
23. I’m not saying I’m unlucky in love, but I think my soulmate was a dinosaur.
24. My love life is like a sitcom: it’s full of laughs, but it’s not real.
25. I’m not desperate, but I did just ask my GPS if it wanted to go on a road trip.
26. My dating history is like a puzzle: I’m missing a few pieces.
27. I’m not saying I’m bad at flirting, but I once told a guy he had a nice car, and it was a unicycle.
28. My love life is like a dream: it’s great until I wake up.
29. I’m not desperate, but I did just ask my Alexa to tell me a love story.
30. My dating history is like a library: full of stories, but they’re all overdue.
31. I’m not saying I’m unlucky in love, but I think my guardian angel is on vacation.
32. My love life is like a magic show: it’s all an illusion.
33. I’m not desperate, but I did just ask my coffee machine if it wanted to get a latte.
34. My dating history is like a movie: it has a beginning, a middle, and a very abrupt end.
35. I’m not saying I’m bad at relationships, but my goldfish have more commitment.
36. My love life is like a soap opera: it’s full of drama and unrealistic plot twists.
37. I’m not desperate, but I did just ask my plant if it wanted to grow old with me.
38. My dating history is like a coloring book: I keep going outside the lines.
39. I’m not saying I’m unlucky in love, but I think my soulmate is a ghost.

Best Jokes About Rejection

1. I asked my crush to rate me on a scale of 1 to 10. They said, “You’re a 1, and I’m a 10, so let’s make it a 0.”
2. My love life is like a Shakespearean play: full of tragedy, comedy, and a lot of dead ends.
   3em. I’m not saying I’m unpopular, but my imaginary friend started ghosting me.
3. My dating app is just a collection of people I’ll never meet.
4. I’m not desperate, but I did just ask my Roomba if it wanted to clean up my love life.
5. My romantic history is like a history book: full of dates that are long gone.
6. I’m not saying I’m bad at relationships, but my plants are in a healthier relationship with the sun than I am with anyone.
7. My love life is like a math problem: I can’t seem to find the right formula.
8. I’m not desperate, but I did just ask my mirror if it wanted to reflect on our future together.
9. My dating history is like a weather forecast: unpredictable and mostly disappointing.
10. I’m not saying I’m unlucky in love, but I think my soulmate is in a different dimension.
11. My love life is like a foreign film: I don’t understand what’s going on, but it’s beautiful to watch.
12. I’m not desperate, but I did just ask my shadow if it wanted to be my plus-one.
13. My dating history is like a dictionary: full of words, but no meaning.
14. I’m not saying I’m bad at relationships, but my sourdough starter has more life than my love life.
15. My love life is like a construction site: always under construction and never finished.
16. I’m not desperate, but I did just ask my reflection if it wanted to get married.
17. My dating history is like a novel: full of chapters, but no happy ending.
18. I’m not saying I’m unlucky in love, but I think my soulmate is a fictional character.
19. My love life is like a puzzle: I’m still trying to find the missing piece.
20. I’m not desperate, but I did just ask my plant if it wanted to be my significant other.
21. My dating history is like a song: it has a catchy tune, but the lyrics are sad.
22. I’m not saying I’m bad at relationships, but my pet rock has a more stable relationship than I do.
23. My love life is like a roller coaster of emotions, but it’s stuck at the bottom.
24. I’m not desperate, but I did just ask my pillow if it wanted to cuddle.
25. My dating history is like a movie script: full of twists and turns, but no resolution.
26. I’m not saying I’m unlucky in love, but I think my soulmate is an alien.
27. My love life is like a garden: full of weeds and no flowers.
28. I’m not desperate, but I did just ask my blanket if it wanted to be my security blanket.
29. My dating history is like a painting: it’s a work in progress.
30. I’m not saying I’m bad at relationships, but my phone has a longer battery life than my relationships.
31. My love life is like a storm: it’s chaotic and leaves a mess.
32. I’m not desperate, but I did just ask my shoes if they wanted to walk through life with me.
33. My dating history is like a book of poetry: full of metaphors and no clear meaning.
34. I’m not saying I’m unlucky in love, but I think my soulmate is a mermaid.
35. My love life is like a journey: I’m lost and have no map.
36. I’m not desperate, but I did just ask my car if it wanted to drive off into the sunset with me.
37. My dating history is like a play: it has a lot of acts, but no final curtain.
38. I’m not saying I’m bad at relationships, but my Wi-Fi connection is more stable than my love life.
39. My love life is like a symphony: it’s full of crescendos, but no finale.

Clever & Crazy Jokes About Rejection

1. I asked my crush if they were a 90-degree angle. They said no, so I guess they’re not right for me.
2. My love life is like a quantum particle—it doesn’t exist until someone observes it, and even then, it’s uncertain.
3. I’m not single, I’m just in a long-term, committed relationship with my own awesomeness.
4. I told my date I was a “fun-gi.” They said they were more of a “fun-guy who’s leaving.”
5. My ex said I was too predictable. So I started speaking in binary. They were not amused.
6. I’m not saying I’m a bad influence, but I did convince my date to try pineapple on pizza. They never spoke to me again.
7. My love life is like Schrödinger’s cat: it’s both alive and dead until I open my DMs.
8. I told my crush I was a “catch.” They said they were more into “release.”
9. I’m not desperate, but I did just ask my toaster if it wanted to get warm with me.
10. My dating history is like a Choose Your Own Adventure book, but all the paths lead to disappointment.
11. I’m not saying I’m a handful, but I do come with a warning label.
12. My love life is like a conspiracy theory: it’s hard to believe and there’s no evidence.
13. I told my date I was a “keeper.” They said they were more of a “hoarder,” but not of people.
14. I’m not desperate, but I did just ask my fridge if it wanted to chill with me.
15. My dating history is like a social experiment: it’s designed to see how much rejection one person can handle.
16. I’m not saying I’m a bad date, but I did once ask my date if they believed in ghosts, and they became one.
17. My love life is like a Rorschach test: everyone sees something different, and it’s all a mess.
18. I told my crush I was a “limited edition.” They said they were more into “mass-produced.”
19. I’m not desperate, but I did just ask my lamp if it wanted to brighten up my life.
20. My dating history is like a time capsule: it’s full of things I’d rather forget.
21. I’m not saying I’m a bad influence, but I did once convince my date to join a cult. They’re happier now.
22. My love life is like a game of Jenga: one wrong move and it all comes crashing down.
23. I told my date I was a “diamond in the rough.” They said they preferred polished stones.
24. I’m not desperate, but I did just ask my pillow for its opinion on my love life.
25. My dating history is like a scavenger hunt: I’m looking for something that may not exist.
26. I’m not saying I’m a bad date, but I did once try to pay for dinner with Monopoly money.
27. My love life is like a black hole: it sucks everything in and nothing ever escapes.
28. I told my crush I was a “rare find.” They said they were more into “common sense.”
29. I’m not desperate, but I did just ask my shoes if they were my sole-mate.
30. My dating history is like a mystery box: you never know what you’re going to get, but it’s usually disappointing.
31. I’m not saying I’m a bad influence, but I did once convince my date that the earth was flat. They’re still a believer.
32. My love life is like a Rubik’s Cube: I can’t figure it out, and I’m pretty sure it’s broken.
33. I told my date I was a “masterpiece.” They said they were more of a “doodle.”
34. I’m not desperate, but I did just ask my keys if they were the key to my heart.
35. My dating history is like a fortune cookie: it’s full of empty promises.
36. I’m not saying I’m a bad date, but I did once bring my pet rock to a fancy restaurant.
37. My love life is like a parallel universe: it’s a lot like this one, but I’m happy.
38. I told my crush I was a “classic.” They said they were more into “new releases.”
39. I’m not desperate, but I did just ask my phone if it wanted to be my lifeline.
40. My dating history is like a roller derby: it’s fast, brutal, and I always end up on the ground.