199+ Funny & Creative Mascara Jokes

Looking for a good laugh that’s as bold as your lashes? You’re in for a treat! 

We’ve collected 199+ funny and creative Mascara Jokes that will have you rolling with laughter. 

Whether you’re a beauty enthusiast or just someone who loves a clever pun, these jokes are guaranteed to brighten your day. 

Get ready to chuckle, smudge-free, with these mascara-inspired laughs that’ll stick like your favorite waterproof formula!

The Benefits of Choosing Funny Mascara Jokes

• Boost Your Mood: A good laugh lifts your spirits like a fresh coat of mascara brightens your eyes.

• Spark Connections: Sharing jokes fosters bonds, just like sharing beauty tips with a friend.

• Stay Lighthearted: Mascara jokes keep life fun, smudge-free laughter guaranteed.

• Beauty Meets Humor: Combine creativity with wit, blending giggles seamlessly into your beauty routine.

Funny & Creative Mascara Jokes

1. Why did the mascara go to school? To improve its application!
2. What do you call a mascara that tells lies? A fib-er lash.
3. My mascara is like my social battery—it runs out at the worst possible time.
4. Why don’t mascaras ever get lost? They always lash onto something.
5. What’s a mascara’s favorite type of story? A long, drawn-out tale with a dramatic finish.
6. I asked my mascara for its opinion. It said, “I think you need some space.”
7. Why did the mascara break up with the eyeliner? It felt like it was being drawn into drama.
8. What did the mascara say to the eyelash curler? “You really lift me up.”
9. My mascara is so dramatic, it should win an Oscar for best performance.
10. Why was the mascara a bad secret keeper? It always lets things slip under the eye.
11. What’s a mascara’s favorite game? Hide and chic.
12. I tried to write a book about mascara, but I couldn’t find the right volume.
13. Why did the mascara get a promotion? It had a great application.
14. My mascara and I have a great relationship—it’s very eye-opening.
15. What do you call a sad tube of mascara? A tear-jerker.
16. My mascara is waterproof, but my emotions are not.
17. Why don’t mascaras play poker? They can’t keep a straight face.
18. I told my mascara a joke. It didn’t bat an eye.
19. What’s a mascara’s favorite song? “Wand-erwall” by Oasis.
20. Why did the mascara cross the road? To get to the other eye.
21. My mascara is named “Hope.” I apply it every morning and hope for the best.
22. What do you call an artistic mascara? A master-lash.
23. Why did the woman bring a ladder to the makeup store? She wanted to try the high-volume mascara.
24. My mascara is like my best friend—it supports me and adds a little drama.
25. What’s a mascara’s life motto? “Stay bold.”
26. Why was the mascara so confident? It knew how to make a lasting impression.
27. I bought a cheap mascara. It was an eye-sore.
28. What’s a mascara’s favorite exercise? The eye-roll.
29. My mascara wand is a magic wand. It makes my tiny lashes disappear.
30. Why did the mascara get fired? It was always clumping around on the job.
31. What did one eyelash say to the other? “Something big is coming between us.”
32. Why are mascaras so good at arguments? They always have a final lash word.
33. My mascara believes in me more than I do.
34. What’s a mascara’s favorite TV show? “Keeping Up with the Curl-dashians.”
35. Why do mascaras make great detectives? They’re experts at coating the truth.
36. I sneezed after applying mascara. Now I look like a raccoon who lost a fight.
37. What do you call a mascara that’s a musician? A rock-and-roll-on.
38. My mascara is expired, but I’m not a quitter.
39. Why did the mascara get sent to its room? For its bad lash-itude.
40. What’s a mascara’s favorite part of a joke? The punch-line.

Read Also:

Stepmother jokes

Unique Mascara Jokes One-Liners

1. I’m not saying my mascara is old, but it’s starting to see its own crow’s feet.
2. My mascara’s so clumpy, it looks like my lashes are in a group chat.
3. This mascara is called “Better Than Sex,” but I’ve never had sex that makes me want to cry in the rain.
4. My mascara wand doubles as a tiny weapon for anyone who annoys me.
5. I’m not addicted to mascara. We’re just in a committed, long-term relationship.
6. Applying mascara is my daily cardio—my hand isn’t that steady.
7. My mascara is my emotional support wand.
8. If you can make me laugh without smudging my mascara, you’re a keeper.
9. I’m not crying, my mascara is just having an allergic reaction to my feelings.
10. The only club I’m hitting tonight is the clump crusher on my mascara.
11. My lashes are so short, my mascara application is more of a donation.
12. I wish my bank account grew as fast as my lashes with two coats of mascara.
13. Confidence is 10% work and 90% a good mascara.
14. My mascara has seen more tears than my therapist.
15. A day without mascara is like… just kidding, I have no idea.
16. The three stages of my life: birth, mascara, death.
17. I’m in a toxic relationship with my waterproof mascara every night.
18. My mascara tube is like a tube of toothpaste—I’ll get one more use out of it.
19. I’m not messy, I’m just creative with my mascara application.
20. You know it’s love when he waits for you to finish your second coat of mascara.
21. I like my lashes like I like my stories: long and full of drama.
22. My mascara costs more than my lunch, and honestly, it’s more satisfying.
23. I’m not sure what’s longer, my lashes or the list of ingredients in my mascara.
24. My favorite romance story is when the mascara wand finally comes out of the tube perfectly.
25. Forget diamonds, mascara is a girl’s best friend.
26. Life is short, but your lashes don’t have to be.
27. My makeup bag is just a graveyard for old mascaras.
28. My mascara wand has more curves than I do.
29. If my mascara smudges, it’s not my fault. It’s gravity’s.
30. Don’t let anyone with bad lashes tell you anything about life.
31. I’m one sneeze away from looking like a modern art project.
32. The only thing I chase is the perfect mascara.
33. My bottom lashes are like the footnotes of my face.
34. Applying mascara is the only time I have my life together for 30 seconds.
35. My mascara is like my alarm clock—a necessary evil.
36. I whispered “I love you” to my mascara this morning.
37. My favorite part of the day is taking off my mascara. Kidding, it’s applying it.
38. I’m not perfect, but my lashes are.
39. I’m not flirty, I’m just blinking with new mascara on.
40. My mascara is the only drama I enjoy.

Dirty Mascara Jokes

1. My mascara is named “After Midnight.” It gets wild and messy.
2. Why is mascara so good in bed? It always knows how to lengthen the moment.
3. This mascara promises “full exposure.” I’m listening.
4. My mascara wand has seen more action than most people.
5. He said he liked things long and black. I showed him my mascara.
6. Why did the mascara get kicked out of the bar? It was making things too sticky.
7. My new mascara is called “Climax.” The buildup is intense.
8. It’s not the size of the wand, it’s how you apply the magic.
9. My mascara is like a bad date—it runs when things get wet.
10. This waterproof mascara doesn’t come off for anyone.
11. Applying mascara is a delicate stroke of genius.
12. I like my mascara like I like my men: rich, black, and not flaky.
13. My mascara promised volume, and boy did it turn things up.
14. It’s not just a wand, it’s an extension of my personality.
15. She wanted length and girth, so she bought two different mascaras.
16. The best relationships are like good mascara: they lift you up.
17. This mascara doesn’t clump, but it knows how to get things heated.
18. My mascara is smudge-proof, but I’m not.
19. I need a mascara that lasts longer than my relationships.
20. Why was the mascara so popular? It was great at enhancing things.
21. Let’s just say my mascara isn’t the only thing that’s “buildable.”
22. The package said “extra volume.” It wasn’t lying.
23. I like a mascara that’s not afraid to get a little wet.
24. “Are you a mascara?” “Because you’re making my eyes water.”
25. My mascara is like a good secret—it’s better when it’s a little dirty.
26. This mascara gives me the length I’ve always dreamed of.
27. Why did the mascara get arrested? For public indecency. It was fully exposed.
28. My mascara is so good, it’s borderline inappropriate.
29. I prefer my mascara to be like my humor: a little dark.
30. This mascara is called “Tease.” It gives you just enough.
31. My favorite position is sitting down to apply my mascara perfectly.
32. The only thing I want to be coated in is this mascara.
33. My mascara wand is my favorite toy.
34. Why do mascaras make bad lovers? They always run at the first sign of emotion.
35. It promised a “dramatic effect.” It delivered.
36. This mascara makes my lashes stand at attention.
37. A good mascara will make you feel things.
38. I’m looking for a mascara that’s as committed as I am.
39. Why did the couple love their mascara? It added volume to their life.
40. My mascara isn’t cheap, but it’s easy.

Mascara Jokes Collected from Reddit

1. My mascara is more supportive than most of my family.
2. I sneezed with wet mascara and now I’m a member of KISS.
3. You haven’t known true pain until you poke yourself in the eye with a mascara wand.
4. My mascara is waterproof, but it wasn’t life-proof.
5. I’m not saying I’m lazy, but sometimes I just re-activate yesterday’s mascara.
6. The only thing I’m committed to right now is finishing this tube of mascara.
7. My bank account is as empty as my favorite mascara tube.
8. I’m not crying, it’s just mascara fallout.
9. I’m pretty sure my mascara wand is judging my life choices.
10. “Are you okay?” No, I just smudged my mascara.
11. My lashes are so straight, they’re heterolashual.
12. I bought a “lengthening” mascara. My lashes are still short, but now they’re sad and black.
13. I’m not sure if I love or fear my waterproof mascara.
14. My mascara has separation anxiety. It clumps together.
15. I’m trying to save money, but my mascara keeps whispering “buy me.”
16. My mascara is named “False Lash Effect.” My whole life is a false lash effect.
17. My mascara is the only thing that listens to me.
18. I’m not messy, my mascara is just an abstract artist.
19. My mascara wand has been through thick and thin with me.
20. I spend more time trying to remove my mascara than I did applying it.
21. The only drama I want is in my lashes.
22. I put on mascara to go to the grocery store. It’s called self-care.
23. If I die, please make sure my mascara isn’t smudged.
24. My mascara is like a good book—hard to put down.
25. I don’t need a man, I need a mascara that doesn’t smudge.
26. My mascara is so old, it should be in a museum.
27. I’m not flaking on you, that’s just my mascara.
28. The only thing I want to be long and black is my coffee and my lashes.
29. My mascara has more volume than my hair.
30. I’m not sure what’s clumping more, my mascara or my social life.
31. I’m not dramatic, my lashes are.
32. My mascara is the only thing that can go from 0 to 100 that fast.
33. My mascara wand is my spirit animal.
34. The only thing I’m building is my mascara coverage.
35. My lashes are in their rebellious phase. They won’t curl.
36. I’m not saying I’m a perfectionist, but I did spend 20 minutes on my mascara.
37. I’m not a morning person until I’ve had my coffee and mascara.
38. My mascara is the glue holding my life together.
39. I’m not rich, but I have expensive taste in mascara.
40. My mascara is the only thing that’s not toxic in my life.

Best Mascara Jokes

1. Why are mascaras so optimistic? They always look on the bright side.
2. I told my mascara it was my favorite. It was visibly moved.
3. What did the mascara say on its first day at work? “I’m ready to make an impression!”
4. My mascara is like a good therapist—it helps me see things more clearly.
5. Why did the mascara win the race? It had a great lash-minute sprint.
6. I’m not saying I’m a superhero, but I can apply mascara in a moving car.
7. My mascara is so good, it should have its own fan club.
8. What’s a mascara’s favorite holiday? New Year’s Eve—it loves a good build-up.
9. Why did the mascara go to the party? To add a little volume.
10. My mascara is my secret weapon.
11. What do you call a happy mascara? A joy-stick.
12. Why was the mascara so calm? It knew how to brush things off.
13. My mascara has a PhD in drama.
14. What’s a mascara’s favorite movie? “The Good, the Bad, and the Clumpy.”
15. Why did the mascara get a time-out? It was being too lashy.
16. My mascara and I are a power couple.
17. What do you call a group of mascaras? A glam squad.
18. Why are mascaras so good at sports? They know how to handle the pressure.
19. My mascara is the only thing that gives me a lift.
20. What’s a mascara’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat and a lot of volume.
21. Why did the mascara get an award? For its outstanding performance under pressure.
22. My mascara is like my coffee—I can’t start my day without it.
23. What do you call a mascara that’s a comedian? A stand-up cosmetic.
24. Why did the mascara get scared? It saw a makeup remover wipe.
25. My mascara is the only thing that’s not running from its problems.
26. What’s a mascara’s favorite destination? Lash Vegas.
27. Why did the mascara go on a diet? To get a finer line.
28. My mascara is my ride or die.
29. What do you call a mascara that can’t be trusted? A smudge.
30. Why was the mascara so good at its job? It had a great work ethic and a lot of drive.
31. My mascara is the cherry on top of my makeup routine.
32. What do you call a smart mascara? An eye-Q enhancer.
33. Why did the mascara break up with the eyeshadow? It felt overshadowed.
34. My mascara is the only thing that can handle my emotional breakdowns.
35. What’s a mascara’s favorite saying? “Go big or go home.”
36. Why did the mascara go to the gym? To work on its definition.
37. My mascara is the only thing that can make me look awake.
38. What do you call a mascara that loves to travel? A globe-trotter.
39. Why was the mascara so expensive? It was a limited edition of lash-ury.
40. My mascara is my soulmate.

Clever & Crazy Mascara Jokes

1. Why don’t mascaras use social media? They don’t want to leave a digital footprint, just a smudged one.
2. What’s a mascara’s favorite philosophy? Existentialism, because it’s all about the void.
3. I bought a quantum mascara. Now my lashes are both clumped and perfect until observed.
4. Why did the mascara join a band? It was great at applying heavy metal.
5. My mascara is a conspiracy theorist. It thinks my eyelashes are working against it.
6. What’s the difference between my mascara and my motivation? The mascara works.
7. My mascara is like Schrödinger’s cat—both perfect and smudged until I look in a mirror.
8. Why did the mascara go to the library? To check out the latest volumes.
9. My mascara has an identity crisis. It can’t decide if it’s lengthening or volumizing.
10. What’s a mascara’s favorite subject in school? Chemis-tree, for the carbon black.
11. My mascara is a minimalist. It believes less is more… clumping.
12. Why don’t mascaras ever get cold? They always have a few coats on.
13. What do you call a mascara that’s a genius? Albert Eye-nstein.
14. My mascara is on a spiritual journey to find its inner peace, and outer volume.
15. Why was the mascara so good at chess? It always knew the next move to make a dramatic statement.
16. I tried to teach my mascara to sing, but it only knew one note: high drama.
17. What do you call a mascara that loves to read? A well-read wand.
18. My mascara is a historian, specializing in the fall of the Roman Empire and my lashes.
19. Why did the mascara get a ticket? For speeding up the drama.
20. My mascara is trying to unionize my eyelashes for better working conditions.
21. What’s a mascara’s political party? The Bold and Beautiful Party.
22. My mascara is like a bad sci-fi movie—great concept, poor execution.
23. Why did the mascara go to art school? To learn how to draw the line.
24. My mascara is so old, it remembers when the Dead Sea was just sick.
25. What do you call a rebellious mascara? A lash-out.
26. My mascara is training for a marathon. It runs every time I cry.
27. Why was the mascara so philosophical? It was always pondering the meaning of length.
28. My mascara is a detective, always finding the one lash I missed.
29. What’s a mascara’s favorite book genre? Thrillers, because of the suspense and buildup.
30. Why did the mascara refuse to work? It said it needed a better application.
31. My mascara is an economist. It specializes in lash inflation.
32. What do you call a psychic mascara? It sees a smudge in your future.
33. My mascara is an undercover agent. Its mission is to avoid smudging.
34. Why did the mascara start a fight? It said, “You looking at my wand?”
35. My mascara is a weather reporter. It predicts a 100% chance of running.
36. What do you call a mascara with a law degree? A lash-suit.
37. My mascara is writing its memoir: “From Clump to Triumph.”
38. Why did the mascara fail the test? It couldn’t define the terms.
39. My mascara is a magician. It can make my money disappear.
40. What do you call a mascara that’s a poet? It’s great at dramatic verse.